I've always felt like I needed a man or needed to be in a relationship to feel whole. I don't know why but ever since I was 18 I felt the need to always be with someone. Maybe it's just something everyone that age goes through.
Over the years I've really learnt to be content with being single because to be able to love someone genuinely I need to learn to love myself and I need to be happy with being with my friends and family. I've been single for over a year now and I've never been happier. I'm not gonna lie it's been really difficult sometimes because sometimes you just want someone to talk to other than your family or friends but I've been learning to talk to God instead.
I've struggled to love myself for a long time. I'm still on the process of learning to love myself so I feel I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet. Guys, I've been through so much with men and 'boys'. I say boys because they think their men but they're not because they are very childish. Literally I've been through the most when it comes to relationships. I'm always getting hurt in the worst ways possible that I always said after the breakup that I didn't want to be in a relationship anymore but I end up falling for a guy.
I'm learning to be happy being single and honestly I've never felt more happier than I am now. Maybe it's the fact of not having to worry about another human being more than I already do. I have my family to worry about so I don't need to add another person to it. Another thing I'm forgetting is that I'm still very young. I'm 24 which is I think is too young to be thinking about marriage. I got to a point recently where I felt really down and depressed because I was seeing some of my friends in serious relationships, getting engaged or getting married. I felt like I was missing out and it got me thinking deeper that there was something wrong with me and that's why I can't attract a good guy.
I just want a man who'll realise my worth and love me so much and respect me. To be treated like a queen, that's what I want. Is it too much to ask for? I don't think so! Until I meet that man who's going to meet all my expectations I'm going to stay single. I can't keep getting my heart broken because when I really like a guy I can't help but show it. I tend to fall for a guy deeply when I do. I've promised myself to stop falling easily for guys and to stop trusting them because men can really lie when they want something from you. Some men are serious trash and don't deserve my time or attention.
