This post is coming very late because I was supposed to post it in February in time for Valentine's Day but I couldn't and I've been procrastinating about this blog. I didn't know how people would react to my blogs and I didn't think anyone would read them but so far I've been getting good views. This gives me the go ahead to post more. If you're in university and you're a relationship right now or have been in a relationship, or you're thinking about being in a relationship with someone soon this will be helpful. I know this because I wish I had this advice when I was going into relationships whilst at uni.
In university, you will meet so many people from different backgrounds and meet many different characters. Some you share interests with and others you don’t. At times it can be hard especially if you are an introvert it can be difficult to fit in to a big crowd.. I went into university as an introvert and didn’t have a lot of friends, however I started to become more sociable and came out of my shell a bit more from the first year, especially during freshers and this helped me to meet some great people.
It seemed to me that most of my friends quickly met guys and got into relationships with them. It can be really hard being in that kind of environment at uni, especially being away from friends and family back home. When everyone has got someone and you haven’t you really feel it. Especially in first year it can be so difficult settling in and having someone to talk to, hold on to, and shower you with affection can be great.
I think people get so wrapped up in all of this because of the university stereotypes about relationships. It is a common saying that most people meet their soulmate at uni or before 21, and you’re most likely to get married to them. There’s even statistics to back that up. The Student Room website from tsrmatters.com says that ‘one fifth of British students meet the love of their life on campus and the research revealed that 20% of British students meet the loves of their life on campus.’ Now with statistics like these it can be understandable as to why people are so eagerly searching for love.
I was in a relationship however my partner was in London and we wasn’t able to spend time together until I was back in London for the holidays. This really took a toll on me especially with my thought process. I started to think maybe I was wasting my time. Maybe it would be better if I met someone in my uni so I could see my boyfriend whenever I wanted, however after a while I started to see the ugly side to it all. I started to see that having a boyfriend around you all the time and having to spend every bit of your spare time with him can become straining on both of you. It is very necessary to have free time alone, and relying and depending on someone for your own happiness is unhealthy. Eventually I realised that all this relationship hype based around uni is a fantasy, not everyone’s story is a fairytale.
I think relationships formed in university can work and last but it’s up to you to make it last a long time. The strongest relationships are built on good communication, trust and respect. By this I mean you talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend every day and are open with each other. It’s not good to hide anything from each other, especially if you think it will affect your relationship. When something is bothering you, it’s okay to talk to your significant other about it. Make sure your partner understands every aspect of your relationship this is the only way you can help each other grow. When the communication stops, or isn’t as regular as before and you don’t see each other often, naturally your feelings for each other will be in jeopardy.
Recently there was a video released of an ex couple that were once in love although it seemed one sided and they finally faced eachother for the female in the relationship to understand what went wrong between them and why the man she loved cheated on her. Social media blew up as we watched Courtney cry her eyes out to her ex telling her that he cheated many times and there was nothing she could have done to prevent his behaviour. Many were on her side however made comments which included “Why didn’t she leave” “Couldn’t she see the signs” and other statements which made it clear that it was rather her fault the relationship didn’t work out.
This video was very distressing, however it once again confirmed to me how much a relationship can destroy you when it lacks certain elements. It didn’t put me off completely but I now vow to be very careful who I give my heart to and I hope anyone reading this does too as love is a very serious thing.
I hope this helps anyone wondering if having a relationship in uni is worth it. Don’t pressure yourself if it is meant to be it will be. Trust me, you don't wanna end up like that girl in the Hurt Bae video!
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